Why did the dolphin feel crabby? Because he ate too many crabs!
What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times? Two octopuses shaking hands.
Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming? He was a card shark!
What is a buttress? A female goat.
Mama bear to Papa bear: " Well… You might call it hibernating – – I call it 'goofing off'. "
How can you tell when a skunk is angry? It raises a stink!
What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial? Odour in court!
Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere? Yak the Ripper
Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? No, they do everything on porpoise!
What does an octopus take on a camping trip? Tentacles!
Are shellfish warm? No they're clammy!
One goldfish to his tankmate: " If there's no God, who changes the water? "
One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place. A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal. Sorry, said Mullah, is it a member of your family?
How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk? A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant!
What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before? Deja phew!
How do you weigh a whale? On Whale Weigh Scales.
Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber? The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.
What does a squid sheriff form? An octoposse!
What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours? A hermit crab!
Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines? He drew 100 cats on the paper. He thought the teacher had said lions.
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee!!!!!
What's a skunk's favourite game in school? Show and smell!
What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl? A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot!
What is the best advice to give a worm? Sleep late.
How could the dolphin afford to buy a house? He prawned everything!
Who was the most famous pirate octopus? Captain Squid!
What kind of noise annoys an oyster? A noisy noise annoys an oyster! (Try saying that fast! )
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why? Because that was the end of May!
One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a boomerang? A smell that keeps coming back!
What do you call a flying skunk? A smellicopter!
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, " I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella? " So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. " I think, dear, " said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, " that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts. " And a voice from the door said, " If you do that I won't go. "
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans? Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!
What's an octopuses favourite latin saying? Squid pro quo!
What is a dolphin's favorite TV show? Whale of fortune!