Are you going to take a bath? No, I'm leaving it where it is.
Which birds steal soap from the bath? Robber ducks!
My mother says I look just like an animal when I'm in the bath – a little bear.
How do you know that there's a monster in your bath? You can't get the shower curtain closed.
Mum, does God use the bathroom? No, what a funny question! Then why did Dad say this morning, 'Oh, God, are you still in there? '
What's the difference between a peeping Tom and someone who's just got out of the bath? One is rude and nosey. The other is nude and rosey!
Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold them!
Robot: I have to dry my feet carefully after a bath. Monster: Why? Robot: Otherwise I get rusty nails.
May: What position does your brother play in the school football team? Jay: I think he's one of the drawbacks!
Dr Frankenstein: I've just invented something that everyone in the world will want! You know how you get a nasty ring around the bathtub every time you use it, and you have to clean the ring off? Igor: Yes, I hate it. Dr Frankenstein: Well, you need never have a bathtub ring again! I've invented the square tub…
Ned: Boy! Was I ever in hot water last night! Ed: You were? What did you do? Ned: I took a bath!
Did you hear about the idiot who had a new bath put in? The plumber said, " Would you like a plug for it? " The idiot replied, " Oh, I didn't know it was electric. "
A man walked into a lodge in Yellowstone National Park. 'Can you give me a room and bath? 'he asked the clerk. 'I can give you a room, 'the clerk said. 'But you'll have to take the bath by yourself! '
Hotel guest: Can you give me a room and a bath, please? Porter: I can give you a room, but you'll have to wash yourself.
What kind of bath can you take without water? A sun bath.
Mom: Joe, time for your medicine. Joe: I'll run the bath then. Mom: Why? Joe: Because on the bottle it says " to be taken in water. "
When a dirty kid has finished taking a bath, what is still dirty? The bathtub.
Does your brother keep himself clean? Oh, yes. He takes a bath every month whether he needs one or not.
Where does a vampire take a bath? In the bat- room (bathroom).
Doctor: Your system needs freshening up a bit. I suggest you take a cold bath every morning. Patient: Oh, but I do, doctor. Doctor: You do? Patient: Yes, every morning I take a nice cold bath and fill it with nice hot water!
What criminal doesn't take baths? A dirty crook.
Doctor: The best time to take a bath is before retiring. Patient: You mean I don't need another bath until I'm sixty- five?
Why did the robber take a bath? So he could make a clean getaway.
Why did the bank robber take a bath? So he could make a clean getaway.
What do you call the ring that worms leave round the bath? The scum of the earth!
Adam: How did Mummy know you hadn't had a bath? Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel, wet the soap and flood the bathroom.
What dog loves to take bubble baths? A shampoodle!
Nick: Can you tell me the way to Bath? Rick: I use soap and water, personally.
What animal do you look like when you get into the bath? A little bear!
How do vampire football players get the mud off? They all get in the bat- tub.
Which villains steal soap from the bath? Robber ducks.
Boy: Dad, dad, there's a spider in the bath. Dad: What's wrong with that? You've seen spiders before. Boy: Yes, but this one is three feet wide and using all the hot water!
Doctor: And did you drink your medicine after your bath, Mrs Soap? Mrs Soap: No, doctor. By the time I'd drunk the bath there wasn't room for medicine.
The plumber was working in a house when the lady of the house said to him, " Will it be alright if I have a bath while you're having your lunch? " " It's okay with me lady, " said the plumber, " as long as you don't splash my sandwiches. "