Birthday jokes

A man asked his wife, "What…

A man asked his wife, " What would you most like for your birthday? " She said, " I'd love to be ten again. " On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park – the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, " Well, dear, what was it like being ten again? " One eye opened and she groaned, " Actually, honey, I meant dress size! "

Home – A – Age Jokes "That's…

Home – A – Age Jokes " That's an excellent essay for someone your age, " said the English teacher. " How about for someone my Mum's age, Miss? " " Welcome to school, Simon, " said the nursery school teacher to the new boy. " How old are you? " " I'm not old, " said Simon. " I'm nearly new. " Miss Jones agreed to be interviewed by Fred for the school magazine. " How old are you, ma'am? " asked Fred. " I'm not going to tell you that, " she replied. " But Mr Hill the technical teacher and Mr Hill the geography teacher told me how old they were. " " Oh well, " said Miss Jones. " I'm the same age as both of them. " The poor teacher was not happy when she saw what Fred wrote: Miss Jones, our English teacher, confided in me that she was as old as the Hills. " Now remember, boys and girls, " said the science teacher, " you can tell a tree's age by counting the rings in a cross section. One ring for each year. " Fred went home for tea and found a chocolate roll on the table. " I'm not eating that, Mum! " she said. " It's five years old. " Grandma: You've left all your crusts, Fred. When I was your age I ate...

First boy: Are you having a…

First boy: Are you having a party for your birthday? Second boy: No, I'm having a witch do. First boy: What's a witch do? Second boy: She flies around on a broomstick casting spells.