Blonde Jokes

A blonde was taking the tour…

A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area. The blonde exclaimed, " Wow! I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway! "

There was a blonde who was…

There was a blonde who was at an all blonde football game. At halftime she was called down to answer questions to see if she could win $ 1000. The first question was what is 10 plus 11? She hesitates and says, hm.. 5! The host says no im sorry thats incorrect. All of the blondes in the stadium chanted " Give her another chance, give her another chance! " So the host agrees and said, " ok how about 5 plus 5. " She answers and says 20. Again all the blondes chanted give her another chance, give her another chance. So the host agrees again and says, ok last chance, what is 2 plus 2. The blonde says 4! and the audience says Give her another chance give her another chance!

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit…

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn, she rolled the dice and she landed on " Science & Nature. " Her question was, " If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it? " She thought for a time and then asked, " Is it on or off? "

One day a blonde woman was…

One day a blonde woman was down on her luck and she needed a quick way to get money. She saw some kids playing and thought " Hey! Maybe I can kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom! " So she creeps up and snatches one. So she began to write a note: " I have kidnaped your son and I will give him back if you put 10, 000$ on the north side of the tree in the park. Signed Blonde. " She sticks the note on the kid and sends him home. The next day she goes to the north side of the tree and in a paper bag was 10, 000$. But there was a note inside saying: " How could you do this to a fellow blonde!?! "

Two blondes are walking down the…

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, " Hmmm, this person looks familiar. " The second blonde says, " Here, let me see! " So the first Blonde hands her the compact. She looks in the mirror and says, " You dummy, it's me! "

A blonde walks by a travel…

A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, " Cruise Special – – $ 99! ". She goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, " I'd like the $ 99 cruise special, please. " The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, then drags her out the back door and downhill to the river, where he pushes her in and sends her floating. A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays her money on the counter, and asks for the $ 99 special. She too is tied to an inner tube and sent floating down the river. Drifting into stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde. They float side by side for a while before the first blonde asks, " Do they serve refreshments on this cruise? The second blonde replies, " They didn't last year. "

A blonde got lost in her…

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. " If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it. " Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty- five minutes. Finally the driver of the snow plow got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, " Well, I'm done with the Wal- Mart lot, now you can follow me over to K- Mart…"

Two bowling teams, one of all…

Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double- decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The blonde team rides on the top level. The brunette team down below is having a great time, when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs. She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead. She says, 'What the heck's goin'on up here? We're havin'a grand time downstairs! 'One of the blondes looks up and says, 'Yeah, but you've got a driver! '