What did one mouse say to the other mouse? I get a click out of you.
Who sits on Cinderella's keyboard? Buttons.
What did the mouse say to the webcam? Cheese.
Would you like to buy a second- hand computer? I'm afraid not. I'm only able to type with one hand as it is.
What do computer experts do at weekends? Go for a disk drive.
Why did the computer act crazy? It had a screw loose.
What do you do if your computer hums? Tell it to change its socsks!
Why did the dish and spoon hide their computer? The cat kept fiddling with i. t.
What do you get if you cross a computer with a ballet dancer? The Netcracker suite.
Why did the duck stick his leg into a computer? He wanted to have webbed feet.
What do you get if you cross a computer with a hamburger? A big mac.
Why do computer teachers never get sick? Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.
What do you get if you stuff your computer's disk drive with herbs? A thyme machine.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a computer. My goodness, you'd better come to my surgery right away! I can't, my power cable won't reach that far.
I've been on my computer all night! Don't you think you'd be more comfortable on a bed like everyone else?
What do you get if you take your computer to an ice rink? A slipped disk.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a laptop computer. You're just run down, let me give you some vitamins. No, thanks. But I could do with some new batteries.
I've been sitting at this computer for hours and I haven't seen a single website. That's because you're supposed to sit facing the screen.
What's the difference between your finger and a hammer? I don't know! Well, you're not using my computer keyboard then!
Q. How does Bill Gates enter his house? A. He uses " windows".
Mum, Mum, Dad's broken my computer! How did he do that? I dropped it on his head.
When do computers go to sleep? When it's internight.
Q: Which way did the programmer go? A: He went DATA way!
Pupil: In other schools, pupils get a choice of computers to use. Teacher: You get a choice her, too. Use the one we've got or don't use any at all.
Where does an elephant carry its laptop? In its trunk.
Teacher: Look at the state of the school computer. I want that screen cleaned so I can see my face in it! Pupil: But then it will crack and we won't be able to use it at all.
Where is the best place to buy computer software? Washington C. D
Teacher: Shall I put the school computer on? Pupil: No, Miss, the dress you're wearing looks fine.
Which football team to you need to connect up your computer? Leeds.
This computer you charged me L950 for doesn't work…. and you said it would be trouble free. It is, I charged you L950 for the computer, but you're getting all that trouble absolutely free!
Which kind of ink do you put in your computer's printer? Black, Red or Iced? Iced Ink? Well, yes you do, but I didn't want to mention it.
Want to buy a pocket computer? No, thanks, I already know how many pockets I've got.
Who holds up stagecoaches and steals laptop computers? Click Turpin
What did one keyboard say to the other keyboard? Sorry, you're not my type.
You're spending a lot of time at that computer screen. Have you had your eyes checked? No, they've always been blue!