Dog jokes

What place of business helps dogs who have lost their tails? A retail store.

Why did the dog say he was an actor? His leg was in a cast.

What dog is a cousin to the Dalmatian? A spot- weiler!

Alsation: Why do you like to go on camping trips? Chihuahua: I like to " ruff it!

What is the only breed of dog a boxer is afraid of? A Doberman puncher!

What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet? A Lassie who plays brassie!

How do you make a dog float? Take two scoops of ice cream, a couple of squirts of soda and a small dog.

What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog? Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!

What should you do if you find an angry 500- pound dog in your kitchen? Eat out.

Why did the dog sleep so poorly? By mistake he plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept popping out of bed all night!

Dad, I spotted a Dalmatian! No need to, it already has its own spots!

I just spotted a Chihuahua! That wasn't very nice, you shouldn't draw on dogs!

What has eighteen legs and fetches a ball? The Philadelphia Beagles!

What dog do other dogs go to when they are sick? A docs- hund!

What is your dog's favorite breakfast? Pooched eggs!

What is the best way to follow a lost dog's paw prints? With a track- tor!

What did the dog say to the pig? You are just a bore.

What should you do if you see a vicious dog? Hope he doesn't see you.

Why did the dog's owner think his dog was a great mathematician? When he asked the dog what six minus six was, the dog said nothing.

What do you call a boring dog? A dull- mation!

Why are Chihuahuas such good bedtime storytellers? They have short tales!

What kind of dog can you best see in the dark? A glowberman pinscher!

How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster? Terrier- fied!

Where will a springer spaniel never shop? At a flea market!

What dog rides a horse named Macaroni? Yankee poodle!

What did the dog say when he chased his tail? This is the end.

What should you know before you teach your dog a new trick? You should know more than your dog.

Why did the thoughtful father buy his six children a dachshund? He wanted a dog they could all pet at once.

What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal? That hit the spots!

Alsation: I'll see you shortly. Chihuahua: Okay, but don't call me " Shortly! "

What is a collie puppy's favorite toy? A chew- chew train!

What dog would you want on your American football team? A golden receiver!

Alsation: How did you find the fleas? Beagle: I didn't! They found me!

What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a dog? A hen that lays pooched eggs.

What did the dog take when he was run down? The license number of the car that hit him.