Dog jokes

What is a dog who crosses the street twice in an hour? A double crosser.

Which dog can tell time? A watchdog.

Why was the mother flea so unhappy? All her children had gone to the dogs.

Alsation: Was your master playing catch with you? Chihuahua: No, I was playing throw with her!

What is black and white and red all over? A Chihuahua in a tuxedo that tripped into a jar of salsa!

What kind of dog always needs a shave? A bearded collie!

When are Pomeranians good at taking photographs? Only when they snap at something!

When does a dog go " moo"? When it is learning a new language!

Two women, who are dog owners, are arguing which dog is smarter. First woman: My dog is so smart. Every morning he waits for the paperboy to come around and then he takes a newspaper and brings it to me. Second woman: I know. First one: How? Second one: My dog told me.

What is black and white and red all over? A Dalmatian with a bad sunburn.

Which dog is always without a tail? A hot dog.

Would you rather have a 300- pound dog chase you or a tiger? I'd rather have him chase the tiger.

What is a Chihuahua's favorite sport? Miniature golf!

What kind of pants do you buy for your pet Chihuahua? Shorts!

What kind of dog can tell time? A clockshund!

What dogs never get lost? Newfound- lands!

What did the dog use to make his kite? Flypaper.

Q: What's got four legs and no ears? A: Mike Tyson's dog.

What is taller when it sits down than when it stands up? A dog.

Which dog looks like a cat? A police dog in disguise.

Why is a dog with a lame leg like adding 6 and 7s? He puts down the three and carries the one.

What kind of leash should you buy for a Chihuahua? A short one!

What do you do when a Chihuahua sneezes? Get a small hankie!

What dog wears a white coat and does science experiments? Labs!

How can you make a basset hound fast? Take away its food!

What kind of modeling clay does a dog use? Fi- Do!

Q. Why is a dog scared of a fire? A. It doesn't want to become a hot dog.

What is the difference between a barking dog and an umbrella? The umbrella can be shut up.

Which dog tastes better when eaten? A hot dog.

My dog is great at math. Really? Ask him how much is two minus two. But two minus two is nothing! That's what he'll answer, nothing!

A Chihuahua was shopping in a mall when another shopper walked up to it and started talking. Didn't I see you on a TV commercial? How am I supposed to know what you watch on TV?

Where do you take a Chihuahua that has fallen into a lake? To a weterinarian!

What do you get when you cross a sled dog with an elephant? A tusky!

What dog sweats the most and drinks the most water? A hot- weiler!

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear? A petticoat!