What does a polite monster say when he meets you for the first time? Pleased to eat you!
How do you tell a good monster from a bad one? If it's a good one you will be able to talk about it later!
What do you call a monster with two wooden heads? Edward Woodward.
Why did Frankenstein squeeze his girlfriend to death? He had a crush on her.
What does a monster do when he loses his head? He calls a head hunter.
How did Dr Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster? On a piece rate.
How did the monster cure his sore throat? He spent all day gargoyling.
Frankenstein was sitting in his cell when suddenly through the wall came the ghost of his monster, with a rope round his neck. Frankenstein said, " Monster, monster, what are you doing here? " The monster said, " Well, boss, they hanged me this morning so now I've come to meet my maker. "
On which day do monsters eat people? Chewsday.
What happened to Frankenstein's monster on the road? He was stopped for speeding, fined $ 50 and dismantled for six months.
What kind of monster can sit on the end of your finger? The bogeyman.
What does Frankenstein's monster call a screwdriver? Daddy.
Little monster: Mom, I've finished. Can I leave the table? Mommy monster: Yes, I'll save it for your supper.
What happened to Frankenstein's stupid son? He had so much wax in his ears that he became a permanent contributor to Madame Tussaud's.
First monster: I have a hunch. Second monster: I thought you were a funny shape.
Dr Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It's a new pill consisting of 50 per cent glue and 50 per cent aspirin. Igor: But what's it for? Dr Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
Did you hear the joke about the two monsters who crashed? They fell off a cliff, boom, boom.
Igor: Only this morning Dr Frankenstein completed another amazing operation. He crossed an ostrich with a centipede. Dracula: And what did he get? Igor: We don't know – we haven't managed to catch it yet.
How do you address a monster? Very politely.
What happened when Dr Frankenstein swallowed some uranium? He got atomic ache.
Did you hear about the monster who had twelve arms and no legs? He was all fingers and thumbs.
Monster: Someone told me Dr Frankenstein invented the safety match. Igor: Yes, that was one of his most striking achievements.
HWhy did the monster lie on his back? To trip up low- flying aircraft.
What do you call a mouse that can pick up a monster? Sir.
What do you get if you cross a plum with a man eating monster? A purple people eater.
Why did the monster stop playing with his brother? He got tired of kicking him around.
Where is the monster's temple? On the side of his head.
What brings the monster's babies? The Frankenstork.
Did you hear about the monster who went to a holiday camp? He won the ugly mug and knobbly knees competition and he wasn't even entered.
How does Frankenstein sit in his chair? Bolt upright.
How did Frankenstein's monster eat his lunch? He bolted it down.