What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig? A boar constrictor!
What kind of snake is useful on your windscreen? A viper!
What's a snakes favourite flower? Coily- flowers!
Did you hear about the stupid snake? He lost his skin.
What's a snakes favourite TV program? Monty Python!
Why are snakes hard to fool? They have no legs to pull!
What song to snakes like to sing? Viva Aspana!
What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together? Chimney Cricket!
What snakes are good at sums? Adders!
What's a python's favourite pop group? Squeeze!
What happened when a deadly rattle snake bit a witch? He died in agony!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo? A: ('A jump rope')"
Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake? Someone else's!
What sort of perfume do snakes prefer? Poison by Christian Dior!
Why did the viper, viper nose? Because the adder, adder hankerchief!
What is a snakes favourite opera? Wriggletto!
Why did the viper want to become a python? He got the coiling!
What did the snake say when another asked him the time? Don't asp me!
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent? A snake in the brass!
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food? Snakes and Larders! sna
What do you give a sick snake? Asp- rin!
There where two snakes talking. The 1st one said 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned? '. Then the second Snake says " Why do you ask? " The 1st one replies: " I just bit my lip! "
A old snake goes to see his Doctor. " Doc, I need something for my eyes…can't see well these days". The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed. Doc says, " What's the problem…didn't the glasses help you? " " The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years! "
Q: What kind of snake is good at math? A: An adder.
What do you get if you cross a snake with a hotdog? A fangfurther.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet? Wait until he's finished.