What did the man say when he got a big phone bill? " Who said talk is cheap? "
Party Host: Hello? Phone Caller: I'm trying to reach a Ms. Nidiot. Her first name is Ima. Could you please ask if anybody at your party knows her? Party Host: I'd be glad to. Please hold on. (shouts) Excuse me, but does anybody know Ima Nidiot?
How does a door chime answer the phone? Bella?
Why are there so many Johnson in he phone book? They all have phones.
Why is an engaged girl like a telephone? Because they both have rings.
Caller: Operator! Operator! Call me an ambulance! Operator: Okay. You're an ambulance!
How can you tell if someone who's just had a perm is on the phone? You get a frizzy signal!
If you cross a telephone and a lobster what will you get? Snappy talk.
Caller: Operator! Operator! I don't know what's wrong with my phone, but I can't make long distance calls any longer! Operator: Don't worry. Your long distance calls are long enough already!
How can you tell if someone who's having a temper tantrum is on the phone? You get a tizzy signal!
If you cross a telephone and a pair of scissors, what do you get? Snippy answers.
Hello, police? Please send an officer over to 324 London Road right away! Sorry, this isn't the police station. It's the Delicatessen. Oh. Well, in that case, please send over a pastrami sandwich!
What happened to the little frog who sat on the telephone? He grew up to be a bellhop!
Why did the alien phone home on his mobile? Because it was so ET!
What kind of phone makes music? A saxophone.
What do you get if you cross a phone with a rooster? A wake- up call!
When does a horse talk on the phone? Whinny wants to!
Who was that on the phone, Fred? Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia, so I told him I knew that already and put the phone down!
Why did the girl who worked for the telephone company sing all the time? Because she was an operetta (operator).
What animals talk on the telephone the most? The yakety- yaks!
How does a football player make phone calls? On a touch- down phone.
Why did Dr Frankenstein have his telephone cut off? Because he wanted to win the Nobel prize!
Who invented the telephone? The Phoenicians (phone- itions).
Caller: My goodness, Operator! Your nose is so stuffed up, I can't understand you. You should really take something for that cold. Operator: Good idea. I'll take the rest of the day off!
How does a baritone make phone calls? Song distance!
The new office- boy came into his boss's office and said, " I think you're wanted on the phone, sir. " " What d'you mean, you think? " demanded the boss. " Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said 'is that you, you old fool? "
How do Iranians speak on the telephone? Persian- to- Persian (person- to- person).
What do you get if you cross a telephone with a fat football player? A wide receiver.
How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls? Collect!
Mother: Why was the phone busy all night? Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold.
How did the telephones get married? In a double ring ceremony!
What do you get if you cross a telephone with a night crawler? Ringworm!
What do you get if you cross a phone with a birthday celebration? A party line!
The phone in Rigby's Georgia farmhouse rang one evening. When he answered, the operator said, " This is long distance from Chicago. " " I knowed it's a long distance from Chicago! " answered the farmer. " How come you called to tell me that? "
What do you call a telephone call from one vicar to another? A parson to parson call!