Weather jokes

The U.S. has only three hurricane…

The U. S. has only three hurricane warning centers – Coral Gables, FL, Guam, and Honolulu, HI (recently completed). All three have faced Category 4 hurricanes in the past month. Which only goes to show: If you build it, they will come!

Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to…

Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather report on the radio. " There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared, " the weather report said. " You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets. " Ole said, " Jeez, okay, " and got up from his coffee. The next day they were sitting down with their morning cups of coffee. The weather forecast was, " There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets. " Again Ole replied, " Jeez, okay, " and got up from his coffee. Two days later, again they're sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast said, " There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the…" and the power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. He turned to Lena, " Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena? " Lena replied, " Aw, Ole, just leave the car in the damned garage today. "

A city boy was on his…

A city boy was on his first camping trip. He was eating his lunch under a tree when an old- timer came along. 'It smells like rain, 'he said to the boy. The city boy replied, 'They said it was lemonade. '

A weather intern walks into a…

A weather intern walks into a bar and asks for a Cold Draft. Suddenly the bar door swings open and gusty cool air fills up the bar. After drinking his Draft things seem to get back to normal. The guy then orders a Thunderclap on ice. Suddenly the roof gets pelted with hail stones and an intense lightning flash and thunderous explosion rock the bar. After drinking his Thunderclap things seem to once again get back to normal. Feeling rather good at this point he asks for a third drink- ordering a Tornado on the rocks. This time the bar is not only pelted with even larger hail stones but ferocious winds rip the door off its hinges, shake the bar violently and break every window. Feeling extra good and cocky at this point he then orders an extra large and extra strong Hurricane. The bartender after this request looks up at the guy perplexed and says, " Sorry fella, we have no Hurricanes in Kansas".

A tornado walks into a bar…

A tornado walks into a bar and orders a Hurricane. The bartender asks why he is ordering a Hurricane when he is a tornado. The tornado responds with, " I am a hurricane induced tornado".

A man was driving a black…

A man was driving a black truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. A lady was crossing the street. How did the man see her? It was a bright, sunny day.

There was a communist named Rudolph….

There was a communist named Rudolph. One day he looked out the window and said, " It looks like a storm is coming. " " No it isn't, " said his wife. " Besides, how would you know? " " Because, " he responded, " Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear. "