Weather jokes

The U.S. has only three hurricane…

The U. S. has only three hurricane warning centers – Coral Gables, FL, Guam, and Honolulu, HI (recently completed). All three have faced Category 4 hurricanes in the past month. Which only goes to show: If you build it, they will come!

Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to…

Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather report on the radio. " There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared, " the weather report said. " You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets. " Ole said, " Jeez, okay, " and got up from his coffee. The next day they were sitting down with their morning cups of coffee. The weather forecast was, " There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets. " Again Ole replied, " Jeez, okay, " and got up from his coffee. Two days later, again they're sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast said, " There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the…" and the power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. He turned to Lena, " Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena? " Lena replied, " Aw, Ole, just leave the car in the damned garage today. "

You're hiking around on Hampsted Heath…

You're hiking around on Hampsted Heath (a park near London) at the end of a long sunny day. You run across (separately) the ghosts of Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Baden Powell, and Sir Edmund Hillary, who all give you directions to the nearest tube stop. Whom don't you believe? Your story teller, for there is no such thing as a completely sunny day in England.