Weather jokes

Why do raindrops like lightning at night? – So they can see where they are going

What type of wind is named after both a cat and a bat? Katabatic

Who is it that everybody listens to but nobody believes? The weatherman.

It was so hot today I saw a robin picking earthworms out of the ground with a pair of tongs.

What is the opposite of a cold front? – A warm back

What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? – Hang onto your leaves, this will be no ordinary breeze

What type of wind is named after Santa Claus's warm climate cousin? Santa Ana

Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? Because then the children have to play inside.

I really don't understand why the federal government was so slow to send aid to the areas hit by Hurricane Andrew. After all, both Florida and Louisiana have oil.

What do hurricanes most like to eat for dessert? – Candy Canes

What did the lightning bolt say to the old oak tree? – Hang onto your bark, this will be no ordinary spark

What type of wind is named after a young deer? Foehn

Why do hurricanes travel so fast? Because if they travelled slowly, we'd have to call them slow- i- canes.

The U. S. has only three hurricane warning centers – Coral Gables, FL, Guam, and Honolulu, HI (recently completed). All three have faced Category 4 hurricanes in the past month. Which only goes to show: If you build it, they will come!

What did the primary rainbow say to the secondary rainbow? – Your pants are on backwards

What did the hail storm say to the roof? – Hang onto your shingles, this will be no ordinary sprinkles

How does a male lightning bolt feel when he notices an attractive female lightning bolt? Thunderstruck

What is a tornado? Mother nature doing the twist!

Where do wind gusts go to on dates? – To Chicago

How did the rainbow know is was lost? – It was a clear day

How do hurricanes see? – With one eye

Why is the sky not happy on clear days? It has the blues

Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather report on the radio. " There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared, " the weather report said. " You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets. " Ole said, " Jeez, okay, " and got up from his coffee. The next day they were sitting down with their morning cups of coffee. The weather forecast was, " There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets. " Again Ole replied, " Jeez, okay, " and got up from his coffee. Two days later, again they're sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast said, " There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the…" and the power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. He turned to Lena, " Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena? " Lena replied, " Aw, Ole, just leave the car in the damned garage today. "

What do clouds want to be when they grow up? – Thunderstorms

Why does frost not like to lay out in the sun? – It burns too easily

What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called? – Hurricanes with cataracts

Which weather features do druggies like most? Highs

How did you find the weather at camp? It was easy. I just went outside – and there it was!

" Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs, " said Fred looking out of the kitchen window. " I know, " said his mother. " I've just stepped in a poodle! "

In the summer desert heat, what did a dust devil say to the over- talkative dust devil? – You are really blowing a lot of hot air

Why don't tornadoes watch Bill O'Reilly on FOXNEWS? – It is a no spin zone

Why did the updraft get pulled over? – It was speeding in a high shear zone

What do freezing rain and cake icing have in common? Both are a glaze

You're hiking around on Hampsted Heath (a park near London) at the end of a long sunny day. You run across (separately) the ghosts of Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Baden Powell, and Sir Edmund Hillary, who all give you directions to the nearest tube stop. Whom don't you believe? Your story teller, for there is no such thing as a completely sunny day in England.

Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella? Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.