New Year Nerd Resolutions

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS YOU WON'TBE ABLE TO KEEP IF YOU'RE A NERD 16. I resolve… I resolve to… I resolve to, uh… I resolve to, uh, get my, er… I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off- line work done, too! 15. I will stop checking my e- mail at 3: 00 in the morning… 4: 30 is much more practical. 14. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, " LOL… LOL! " 13. I will stop sending e- mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. 12. I will try to figure out why I * really* need 9 e- mail addresses. 11. I will stop sending e- mail to my roommate. 10. I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1. 44MB disk. 9. I resolve to work with neglected children… my own. 8. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer e- mail. 7. When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it. 6. I will stop using, " So, what's your URL? " as a pickup line. 5. No more downloads from alt. binaries. * 4. I resolve to back up my new 400 GB hard drive daily… well, once a week… monthly, perhaps… 3. I will spend less than five hour a day on the Internet. 2. I will limit my top ten lists to ten items. 1. I will read the manual… just as soon as I can find it.