Two aliens landed in the remote countryside and went walking from the flying saucer along a narrow lane. The first thing they saw was a red pillar box. `Take us to your leader, 'said the first alien. `Don't waste time talking to him. Can't you see he's only a child? 'said the second alien.
I want to be an astronaut when I grow up. What high hopes you have!
Where do Martians drink beer? At a mars bar!
If athletes get athlete's foot, then what do astronauts get? Missile toe.
What did the alien say when his flying saucer landed in a stud farm? Take me to your breeder!
An astronaut in space was asked by a reporter, " How do you feel? " " How would you feel, " the astronout replied, " if you were stuck here, on top of 20, 000 parts each one supplied by the lowest bidder? "
What do you get if you cross a student and an alien? Something from another universe – ity!
What do astronauts put on their toast? Space Jam.
Two aliens from outer space landed in Las Vegas and were wandering around the casinos. One of them volunteered to go inside and see what was happening. He came out looking rather shocked. " What's the matter? " asked his friend. " It's a very popular place, " replied the first alien. " It's full of creatures that keep throwing up little metal discs. "
What is an astronomer? A night watchman with a college education.
What do astronauts wear to bed? Space Jammies!
What did the alien say to the gas pump? Don't you know its rude to stick your finger in your ear when I'm talking to you!
What does an astronaut do when he gets angry? He blasts off:
What do you call an alien surfing the Internet? e- t.
How did the aliens hurt the farmer? They trod on his corn.
Which astronaut wears the biggest helmet? The one with the biggest head.
What do you call a sick extraterrestrial? An ailin'alien.
What did the metric alien say? Take me to your litre!
If an athlete gets athlete's foot, what does an astronaut get? Missile toe.
Two aliens landed their ship on a golf course and watched a young man golfing. First he hit it into the high grass, mumbling and cursing he retrieved his ball. Then he hit it into the sand bunker shouting curse words he retrieved the ball. Next he hit a perfect hole in one, then the first alien said to the second, " Uh- oh cover your ears he's going to be really mad now"!
What do you call an alien starship that drips water? A crying saucer.
What did the astronaut see on his skillet? Unidentified frying (flying) objects.
Why don't astronauts get hungry after being blasted into space? Because they've just had a big launch.
Why are astronauts successful people? Because they always go up in the world!
Teacher: What do you think astronauts wear to keep warm? Girl: Apollo neck jumpers?
Why did the boy become an astronaut? Because he was no earthly good!
Why did the boy become an astronaut? Because he was told he was no earthly good.
Where do astronauts leave their spaceships? At parking meteors!
Where do astronauts leave their spaceships? At parking meteors.
Two astronauts went to a bar on the moon, but they left after a few minutes? You see, it had no atmosphere!
Why didn't the astronauts stay on the moon? Because it was a full moon and there was no room.
How do spacemen pass the time on long trips? They play astronauts and crosses!
Why don't astronauts keep their jobs very long? Because as soon as they start they get fired.
First Spaceman: I'm hungry. Second Spaceman: So am I, it must be launch time!
Two astronauts were in a space ship circling high above the earth. One had to go on a space walk while the other stayed inside. When the space walker tried to get back inside the space ship, he discovered that the cabin door was locked, so he knocked. There was no answer. He knocked again, louder this time. There was still no answer. Finally he hammered at the door as hard as he could and heard a voice from inside the space ship saying, 'Who's there? '