Horse jokes

How much money did the bronco have? Only a buck!

What goes into the mouth of a quarter horse? Two bits!

What's another name for an assistant stable cleaner? A co- pile- it!

Why did the horse miss the joust? He had the knight off!

A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur. " One spur? " asked the saddler. " Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir? " " No, just one, " replied the horseman. " If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it! "

What couple rode a horse up a hill to fetch a pail of water? Jockey and Jill!

What happened to Lady Godiva's horse when he saw she had no clothes on? It made him shy!

What's as big as a horse, but weighs nothing? A horses shadow!

Why did the horse stir his cereal with his hoof? Because he wanted to feel his oats!

Why did the bareback performer ride his horse? Because it got too heavy to carry.

What did the city worker say after his first ever pony trek? I never knew anything stuffed with hay could be so hard!

What happened to the horse that swallowed a dollar bill? It bucked!

What's black and white and turns cartwheels? A piebald horse pulling a cart!

Why did the horseman put a saddle on a large loaf of bread? It was a crusty steed!

A man has a racehorse, never won a race. Man in disgust says, " Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning. " The starting gate opens, the horses take- off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track. He kicks the horse and asks, " WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING. The horse, half asleep says, " I have to get up at three in the morning. "

What did the horse say to whinnie the pooh while watching his t. v. show? I wish I could hear you whinnie.

What happened to the man who owned a riding academy? Business kept falling off!

What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse? The ground!

Why did the man call his horse Fleabag? Because he was often scratched!

Why was the horse all charged up? It ate some haywire!

What did the wife say to the undertaker when he started hitting his broken down car? Stop beating a dead hearse!

What has four legs and see just as well from either end? A horse with his eyes closed!

When does a horse neigh? Whinny wants to!

Why is a racehorse like a letter? They both begin a trip at the post!

Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing? He was always standing up on the job!

What disease do horses fear most? Hay Fever!

What is a horse's favourite sport? Stable tennis!

Where did the Knights of the Round Table park their horses? In the Sir Lance Lot

Why is an egg like a young horse? Because it can't be used until it's broken!

Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino- money!

What do you call a horse that plays the violin? Fiddler on the hoof!

What is a horses favourite kind of party? A stall ball.

Where did the newlywed horses stay? In the bridle suite!

Why is Dick Clark a favourite star with horses? Because he was a disk jockey from Filly!

Why was the racehorse named Bad News? Because bad news travels fast!