Other Jokes

Q: Which day of the week do chickens hate most? A: Fry- day! Q: What happens when you drop a hand gren- egg? A: It eggs- plodes! Q: Why did the chick disappoint his mother? A: He wasn't what he was cracked up to be! Q: Is chicken soup good for your health? A: Not if you're the chicken! Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side! Q: What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy? A: " You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours! " Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again? A: Because he was a dirty double- crosser! Q: Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road? A: Because he didn't have enough guts! Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide!

'Twas the Night After Christmas'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped out on my old Lay- Z- Boy. The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife, the worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives. My wife couldn't argue and neither could I, so I watched TV and my wife, she just cried. When out in the yard the dog started barkin', I stood up and looked and I saw Sheriff Larkin. He yelled, " Roy I am sworn to uphold the laws and I got a complaint here from a feller named Claus. " I said, " Claus, I don't know nobody named Claus, and you ain't taking me in without probable cause. " Then the Sheriff he said, " The man was shot at last night. " I said, " That might have been me, just what's he look like. " The Sheriff replied, " Well he's a jolly old feller, with a big beer gut belly, that shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly. He sports a long beard, and a nose like a cherry. " I said, " Sheriff that sounds like my wife's sister Sherri. " " It's no time for jokes Roy" the Sheriff he...