It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle so the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to a game of soccer. The game was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten goals to nil, when the Ants gained possession. The Ants'star player was dribbling the ball towards the Elephants'goal when the Elephants'left back came lumbering towards him. The elephant trod on the little ant, killing him instantly. The referee stopped the game. " What the hell do you think you're doing? Do you call that sportsmanship, killing another player? " The elephant replied, " Well, I didn't mean to kill him – – I was just trying to trip him up. "
An elephant was walking in a park. With each step he took, he squished many little ants. Upset, the ants began to crawl up on the elephant – – first his legs and then up all over his body. When the elephant started feeling all the little ants on him, he shook hard, making all the little ants, except for one, fall to the ground. As the only ant on the elephant hung on close to the elephant's neck, the ones on the ground began to yell, " Strangle him!!! Strangle him!!! "
Why are elephants large, grey and wrinkly? Because if they were small round and white, they would be aspirins.
Why don't elephants like martinis? Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose?
Why do elephants live in the jungle? Because it's out of the high rent district.
Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.
Why do elephants jump across rivers? So they won't step on the fish.
Why did the elephant eat the candle? He wanted a light snack!
Q: What happened when the elephant sat on the car? A: Everyone knows a Mercedes Bends!
Two elephants jumped off a cliff……. BOOM BOOM!
What's big, grey and flies straight up? An elecopter!
What's the difference between a sick elephant and seven days? One is a weak one and the other one week!
Why are elephants wiser than chickens? Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant?!
Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle? Because of all the cheetahs!
What do elephants say as a compliment? You look elephantastic!
Is the squirt from an elephants trunk very powerful? Well, a jumbo jet can keep 500 people oin the air for hours at a time!
What weighs 4 tons and is bright red? An elephant holding its breath!
What's the difference between an elephant and a banana? Have you ever tried to peel an elephant?
Why do elephants eat raw food? Because they don't know how to cook!
What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What did the elephant say to the famous detective? It's ele- mentary, my dear Sherlock!
Reports are coming in of an elephant doing a ton in the highway. Police ask motorists to drive carefully and to yield right of way.
What's blue and has big ears? An elephant at the North Pole!
Why are elephants grey? So you can tell them from flamingos!
Have you heard about the elephant that went on a crash diet? He wrecked three cars, a bus and two fire engines!
What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court? Annette!
Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain? To stop getting wet!
How do you make an elephant sandwich? First of all, you get a very large loaf…
What's grey and wrinkly and jumps every twenty seconds? An elephant with hiccups!
What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 3, 000 miles!
Why did the elephant eat the candle? For light refreshment!
What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night? Russell!
What is a baby elephant after he is five weeks old? Six weeks old!
How does an elephant go up a tree? It stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow.
How does an elephant get down from a tree? He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn!