Insect jokes

What do you get if you cross a moth with a firefly? An insect that can find its way around a dark closet.

One ant was running across an unopened box of crackers and urging another to speed up. " But why do we have to hurry? " said one. " Can you read, you nut! It says, Tear along the dotted line'".

If a flea and a fly pass each other what time is it? Fly past flea.

A flea jumped over the swinging doors of a saloon, drank three whiskeys and jumped out again. He picked himself up from the dirt, dusted himself down and said, " OK, who moved my dog? "

How do you make a moth bawl? Hit him with a fly swatter.

What insect lives on nothing? A moth, because it eats holes.

Which fly captured the ladybird? The dragon- fly.

Why was the ladybird kicked out of the forest? Because she was a litter bug.

What do you call A Tale of Two Mosquitoes? A bite- time story.

Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one mosquito? Because an itch in time saves nine.

What do you call a scruffy, lazy ant? Decadant.

Why are mosquitoes annoying? Because they get under your skin.

What do you call a stupid ant? Antwerp.

What did one mosquito say to another when they came out of the cinema? Fancy a bite?

What are ants called when they run away very fast to get married? Ant- elopers.

Two mosquitoes were buzzing round when they saw a drunken man. One said to the other, " You bite him? I'm driving. "

Where do you take a sick wasp? To waspital.

A mother moth was telling her baby moth off saying, " If you don't eat all your cotton, you won't get any satin. "

What is the wasps'favorite song? Just a Spoonful of Sugar.

How can you make a moth ball? Hit it with a fly swatter.

Surveyor: This house is a ruin. I wonder what stops it from falling down. Owner: I think the woodworm are holding hands.

Q: What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant? A: " Dead ant, Dead Ant… Dead ant, Dead Ant.. Dead Ant" (to the tune of Pink Panther theme).

How do fireflies start a race? Ready, steady, glow!

How do fireflies lose weight? They burn calories.

What is the difference between an elephant and a flea? An elephant can have fleas but a flea can't have elephants!

What is black and yellow and buzzes along at 30, 000 feet? A bee is an aeroplane!

What's a bees favourite novel? The Great Gats- bee!

Who rode a dog and was a confederate general during the American Civil War? Robert E Flea!

Why did the mosquito go to the dentist? To improve his bite!

What goes 99- clonk, 99- clonk, 99- clonk? A centipede with a wooden leg!

How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!

What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad? It became a daddy short legs!

What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late? Your spinning me a yarn here!

What did the bee say to the naughty bee? Bee- hive yourself!

What are the cleverest bees? Spelling bees!