Insect jokes

Where do you take a sick wasp? To waspital.

A mother moth was telling her baby moth off saying, " If you don't eat all your cotton, you won't get any satin. "

What is the wasps'favorite song? Just a Spoonful of Sugar.

How can you make a moth ball? Hit it with a fly swatter.

Surveyor: This house is a ruin. I wonder what stops it from falling down. Owner: I think the woodworm are holding hands.

Q: What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant? A: " Dead ant, Dead Ant… Dead ant, Dead Ant.. Dead Ant" (to the tune of Pink Panther theme).

How do fireflies start a race? Ready, steady, glow!

How do fireflies lose weight? They burn calories.

What do you get if you cross a moth with a firefly? An insect that can find its way around a dark closet.

One ant was running across an unopened box of crackers and urging another to speed up. " But why do we have to hurry? " said one. " Can you read, you nut! It says, Tear along the dotted line'".

If a flea and a fly pass each other what time is it? Fly past flea.

A flea jumped over the swinging doors of a saloon, drank three whiskeys and jumped out again. He picked himself up from the dirt, dusted himself down and said, " OK, who moved my dog? "

How do you make a moth bawl? Hit him with a fly swatter.

What insect lives on nothing? A moth, because it eats holes.

Which fly captured the ladybird? The dragon- fly.

Why was the ladybird kicked out of the forest? Because she was a litter bug.

What do you call A Tale of Two Mosquitoes? A bite- time story.

Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one mosquito? Because an itch in time saves nine.

What do you call a scruffy, lazy ant? Decadant.

Why are mosquitoes annoying? Because they get under your skin.

What do you call a stupid ant? Antwerp.

What did one mosquito say to another when they came out of the cinema? Fancy a bite?

What are ants called when they run away very fast to get married? Ant- elopers.

Two mosquitoes were buzzing round when they saw a drunken man. One said to the other, " You bite him? I'm driving. "

Q: What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies? – A: Should we walk home or take a dog?

What kind of bees hum and drop things? A fumble bee!

Who is the bees favourite pop group? The bee gees!

How do you start an insect race? One, two, flea – go

If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know which one is the American Football player? The one in the sugar bowl!

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet? He wanted to see the floor show!

What kind of wig can hear? An earwig!

What makes a glow worm glow? A light meal!

What do you call a 100 spiders on a tyre? A spinning wheel!

What happened to the man who turned into an insect? He just beetled off!

What did the bee say to the flower? Hello honey!