Ethnical Jokes

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, " You're in charge of sweeping. " To the Scotsman, he says, " You're in charge of shoveling. " And to the Chinese guy, " You're in charge of supplies. " The foreman then shrugs his beefy shoulders and says, " Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a good dent in that pile of sand by the time I get back. " A few hours later when the foreman returns, he sees that the pile of sand is still untouched. Pointing to the pile of sand, the forman says to the Italian, " Why didn't you sweep any of it? " The Italian replies in a heavy accent, " I no gotta broom. You tella the Chinesea guy he inna charge of a supplies, but hea disappeara, and I coulda no finda him! " Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and asks, " Didn't I tell you to shovel that sand? " The Scotsman replies in his heavy brogue, " Aye, ye did, laddie, but I couldna get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinee in charge of supplies, but I couldna find him! " The foreman is really angry now and storms off toward...

Why is Russia a very fast country? Because the people are always Russian!

Q: What happened to the Indian who drank too much tea? A: He drowned in his teapea.

There were three men working at the top of a building. One was Chinese, one was Mexican, and the other one was Polish. At lunch they went to the edge and the top of the building the Mexican guy pulled out a taco and he said if I get another taco I am gonna jump off this bulding tomorrow. The Chinese guy pulled out fried rice and said if I get fried rice tomorrow I'm gonna jump off with you. The Polish guy pulled out a ham sanwich and said if I get another ham sandwich I'm gonna jump tomorrow with you guys too. The next day the Mexican guy got a taco so he jumped off. The Chinese guy got fried rice so he jumped off. The Polish guy got a ham sandwich so hey jumped off the building. The next day their wives had a triple funeral and the Mexican guy's wife was crying and she said I could have made him a burrito or something. The Chinese guy's wife was cring and said I could have made him some sushi. Th e Polish guy's wife couldn't stop laughing. The other's asked what was so funny? She stopped for a second and said that he had always made his own lunch.

Q: Why did the eskimo wash his clothes in Tide? A: Because it was too cold outside.

Do you know why Eskimos always do their laundry in tide? Because it's too cold out- tide!

A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle, The French captured an English major. Taking the major to their headquarters, the French general began to question him. The French general asked, " Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at? " In his bland English way, the major informed the general that the reason English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show and the men they are leading won't panic. And that is why from that day to now, all French Army officers wear brown pants.

What language do they speak in Cuba? Cubic!

A man once asked Gandhi what he thought of western civilization. Ghandi replied, ''I think it would be a good idea. ''

This small Latino man walks into a bar, sits, and orders a beer. A big man comes in, taps him on his shoulder, and says, " You're sitting in my seat! " The same Spanish man ignores him and orders another beer. The man again taps him on his shoulder, and tells him he's sitting in his seat. The same Spanish man gets up, leans over the seat, and says. " I don't see your name on it. " He sits down again and orders still another beer. " The man says…I know Karate! " The small Latino man says, " I know JUDO! JU DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE A GUN! JU DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE A KNIFE! "

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. " Well, " said the Englishman, " I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver. " " I support the Hearts club, " said the Scotsman, " so I'll eat the heart. " " I support Arsenal, " said the Irishman, " but I seem to have lost my appetite. "

Q: Have you heard about the new Iraqi Air Force exercise program? A: Each morning you raise your hands above your head and leave them there.

Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Shamus, were stumbling home late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard. " Come have a look over here, " says Paddy, " It's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87. " " That's nothing, " says Sean, " here's one named Patrick O'Toole. It says here that he was 95 when he died. " Just then, Shamus yells out, " But here's a fella that died when he was 145 years old! " " What was his name? " asks Paddy. Shamus lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, " Miles, from Dublin. "

How do we know that Joan of Arc was French? She was maid in France!

Q: What county in Ireland hates " South Park? " A: Killkenny.

Q: Did you know they are taking out all the K- Marts in Afghanistan? A: They are putting in TARGETS!!!

Q: What did the Egyptian man say to the Egyptian woman? A: " Come behind the pyramid, and I'll make you a mummy! "

Q: What do you call an Inibrian who has been buried for 1000 years? A: Peat!!!

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. " Look at their reserve, their calm, " muses the Brit. " They must be British. " " Nonsense, " the Frenchman disagrees. " They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French. " " No clothes, no shelter, " the Russian points out, " they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian. "

What do you call a man with a kilt over his head? Scott!

Q: What do you get when you cross and Chinese and a Mexican man? A: A car thief who can't drive!

Q: What does K- mart stand for? A: Kuz Mexicans Are Rich Too

What is the Cuban national anthem? ''Row Your Boat! ''

Only in America do we chain $ 2. 00 ink pens to the counter but leave our $ 58, 000 cars out in the driveway.

What is the difference between Russian Optimist, Pessimist and Realist? An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK- 47.

Why did the Aggie think the weatherman got the sunny forecast wrong? – The Aggie drove through a car wash

Once there were two chinese gentlemen named Mr. Ho and Mr. Chen. They were neighbors but happened to be very competitive. One day Mr. Ho decided to start a shoe business, he named his store WE DO SHOE. now Mr. Chen decided he must compete with Mr. Ho, so he started a shoe business right next door to Mr. Ho's store and he named it SHOE DO WE.

Q: Why did the Italian boy want to grow a mustache? A: So he could look like his mama.

Q: Why do they have so much trouble with the phone systems in China? A: Because there are so many Wings and so many Wongs that someone's always Winging the Wong number.

Q: Have you seen the polish mine detector. A1: Put you fingers in your ears and start stamping the ground with your foot.

An Arab diplomat visiting the U. S. for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was unused to the salt in American foods (french fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc. ) and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water. Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned empty- handed. Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water? demanded the Grand Emir. A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One, stammered the wretched Abdul, white man sit on well.

Q: What is Iraq's national bird? A: Duck.

Once a Sardarji (a caste man in India ) goes to visit a temple on a top of Mt. Abu, where the roads are like a zig- zag. At the starting point towards the Temple, a man tells Sardarji that it will be better to take his car in reverse to the top of Mt. Abu as there will be no space at the top to turn around up there. So, as per the guidelines given by the man, The Sardarji, goes to the top of Mt. Abu in reverse. After sometime the Sardarji comes down of the hill in reverse.. When the man sees him, he asks the Sardarji why he came down the hill in a reverse gear. The Sardarji replies that he got some space at the top of the hill so he reversed his car.

Q: What do you call Italian women in a sauna? A: Gorillas In The Mist!

What do you get when you cross a Cuban and a Pollock? Ricky Retardo