What's big and hairy and climbs up the Empire State Building in a dress? Queen Kong.
King Kong jokes
What do you get if King Kong sits on your best friend? A flat mate.
How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's twisted it? With a monkey wrench.
What do you get if King Kong sits on your piano? A flat note.
If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping- gong and died, what would they put on his coffin? A lid.
What do you get if King Kong falls down a mine shaft? A flat miner.
What is as big as King Kong but doesn't weigh anything? King Kong's shadow.
Why is King Kong big and hairy? So you can tell him apart from a gooseberry.
What do you get if you cross King Kong with a watchdog? A terrified postman.
How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.
Who is the smelliest, hairiest monarch in the world? King Pong.
What do you get if you cross King Kong with a budgie? A messy cage.
What's brown and furry on the inside and clear on the outside? King Kong in clingfilm
What did King Kong say when he saw the Statue of Liberty? " Are you my mother? "
Why didn't King Kong go to Hong Kong? He didn't like Chinese food.
If you crossed King Kong and a bell, what would you have? A ding- dong King Kong.
Why did King Kong paint the bottoms of his feet brown? So that he could hide upside down in a jar of peanut butter.
What is big hairy and can fly? King Kongcorde!
What is big, hairy and can fly faster than sound? King Koncord.
If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping pong and died. What would they put on his coffin? A lid!
If King Kong came to England why would he live in the Tower of London? Because he's a beef- eater.
What did the big ape say when he dialed incorrectly? " Oops! King Kong ring wrong. "
What business is King Kong in? Monkey business.
What would you get if you crossed King Kong with a skunk? I don't know but it could always get a seat on a bus!
Where does King Kong sleep? Anywhere he wants to.
What should you do if you are on a picnic with King Kong? Give him the biggest bananas.
What do you do if you fiend King Kong in the kitchen? Just don't monkey with him.
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. " How about some perfume? " he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $ 50. 00. " That's a bit much, " said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $ 30. 00. " That's still quite a bit, " Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $ 15. 00 bottle. " What I mean, " said Tim, " is I'd like to see something really cheap. " The clerk handed him a mirror.
Why did King Kong join the army? To learn about gorilla warfare.
What do you do if King Kong sits in front of you at the cinema? Miss most of the film!
What happened when King Kong swallowed Big Ben? He found time- consuming.
What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog? A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue.