Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window? Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.
What do you call the Scottish dentist? Phil McCavity!
Dentist: There goes the only woman I ever loved. Assistant: Why don't you marry her? Dentist: I can't afford to. She's my best patient.
Dentist: " You don't need to open your mouth any wider. When I pull your tooth I expect to stand outside. "
Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania? Dracula's dentist.
What do you call a dentist in the army? A drill sergeant!
Dentist: Just let me finish and you will be another man after these cosmetic procedures. Patient: Okay doc, but don't forget to send your bill to the other man.
" Did you get your money? " ask the wife of the dentist who had just return from the delinquent patient's home. " Not a cent, " growled the dentist, " and worse than that, he insulted me, and gnashed my teeth at me! "
I'm suffering from bad breath You should do something about it! I did. I just sent my wife to the dentist.
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth Hurty!
Dentist to parsimonious patient " No, we give no discount for empty spaces when cleaning and polishing teeth Mrs. Borde! "
Dentist: Don't worry. I'm painless. Patient: I'm not.
Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden?… A month later he was picking his teeth
Young Charlie to dentist's sexy chariside assistant " Aha! Are you the lady orthodontist? ". The lady replied " No, but I'll straighten anyone's teeth "
Dentist begging the patient: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams? Patient: Why? Doc, it isn't all that bad this time. Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the 4 o'clock ball game.
Patient: Doc, what should I do with all the gold and silver in my mouth? Dentist: Don't smile in a bad neighborhood.
What game did the dentist play when she was a child?…Caps and robbers
Young lady to father " Daddy, when I grow up shall I become a heart- doctor or a tooth- doctor " " Dentist" " Why father? " " We have only one heart, but 32 teeth! "
Patient: " It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone's mouth. " Dentist: " I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet. "
Patient: Hey, that tooth you pulled wasn't the one I wanted pulled. Dentist: Relax, I'm coming to it.
What does a dentist do on a roller coaster?…He braces himself
Patient to Dentist: " How much to get my teeth straightened? " " Twenty thousand bucks" Patient heads for the door. Dentist to patient: " Where are you going? " " To a plastic surgeon to get my mouth bent. "
" I am sorry, madam, but I shall have to charge you hundred dollars for pulling your boy's tooth. " " Hundred dollars! Why, I understood you to say that you charged only twenty dollars for such work! " " Yes, " replied the dentist, " but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared out four other patients out of the office. "
Father: Don't you feel better now that you've gone to the dentist? Son: Sure do. He wasn't in.
What did the dentist see at the North Pole?…A molar bear
Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled? Dentist: With pain $ 200 and without pain $ 100. Patient: Well, without pain it's cheaper. Pull it WITHOUT pain. Without anesthesia neither anything, the dentist begins to extract the tooth, when the patient outcry: Aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!! Hey, WITH pain it costs $ 200!!!, replies the dentist.
What does the dentist of the year get?…A little plaque.
Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out. After examining him, the dentist said, " Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush? " " Ah sure do! " replied Cloyd. " Everee single day! " " What do you brush with? " asked the dentist, " Preparation H, " said the redneck.
What was the dentist doing in Panama?…Looking for the Root Canal
What's worse than having your doctor tell you that you have VD? Having your dentist tell you.
Why did the dentist make a poor date with the manicurist? Because they fought both tooth and nail!
I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist? That's right, Sir. So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend? That was my dentist.
Where does the dentist get his gas?…At the filling station
A patient asked the dentist, if it wasn't nasty to be all the day with the hands in someone's mouth. The dentist answered " I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet. "
How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to administer the anaesthetic, one to extract the light bulb, and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash.