Dentist jokes

Patient: " It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone's mouth. " Dentist: " I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet. "

Patient: Hey, that tooth you pulled wasn't the one I wanted pulled. Dentist: Relax, I'm coming to it.

What does a dentist do on a roller coaster?…He braces himself

Patient to Dentist: " How much to get my teeth straightened? " " Twenty thousand bucks" Patient heads for the door. Dentist to patient: " Where are you going? " " To a plastic surgeon to get my mouth bent. "

" I am sorry, madam, but I shall have to charge you hundred dollars for pulling your boy's tooth. " " Hundred dollars! Why, I understood you to say that you charged only twenty dollars for such work! " " Yes, " replied the dentist, " but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared out four other patients out of the office. "

Father: Don't you feel better now that you've gone to the dentist? Son: Sure do. He wasn't in.

What did the dentist see at the North Pole?…A molar bear

Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled? Dentist: With pain $ 200 and without pain $ 100. Patient: Well, without pain it's cheaper. Pull it WITHOUT pain. Without anesthesia neither anything, the dentist begins to extract the tooth, when the patient outcry: Aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!! Hey, WITH pain it costs $ 200!!!, replies the dentist.

What does the dentist of the year get?…A little plaque.

Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out. After examining him, the dentist said, " Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush? " " Ah sure do! " replied Cloyd. " Everee single day! " " What do you brush with? " asked the dentist, " Preparation H, " said the redneck.

What was the dentist doing in Panama?…Looking for the Root Canal

What's worse than having your doctor tell you that you have VD? Having your dentist tell you.

Why did the dentist make a poor date with the manicurist? Because they fought both tooth and nail!

I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist? That's right, Sir. So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend? That was my dentist.

Where does the dentist get his gas?…At the filling station

A patient asked the dentist, if it wasn't nasty to be all the day with the hands in someone's mouth. The dentist answered " I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet. "

How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to administer the anaesthetic, one to extract the light bulb, and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash.

At what time do most people go to the dentist? At tooth- hurty (2: 30).

Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?…He was already taking out a tooth

Gerald: " Have you ever come across a man who, at the slightest touch, caused you to thrill and tremble in every fiber of your being? " Mabel: " Yes, the dentist. "

What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth taken out? The dentist.

What did the dentist say to the golfer? " You have a hole in one. "

What did the dentist say to the computer?…This won't hurt a byte

believe that the members of the dental profession are the only men who can tell a women to open or close her mouth and get away with it.

Monster: Doctor, doctor, I'm a blood- sucking monster and I keep needing to eat doctors. Doctor: Oh what a shame. I'm a dentist.

Why does a dentist seem moody? Because he always looks down in the mouth.

What did the tooth say to the departing dentist?…Fill me in when you get back

Patient: Do you extract teeth painlessly? Dentis: " Not always, the other day I nearly dislocated my wrist

Fred's mother was on the telephone to the boy's dentist. " I don't understand it, " she complained, " I thought his treatment would only cost me $ 20, but you've charged me $ 80. " " It is usually $ 20, ma'am, " agreed the dentist, " but Fred yelled so loudly that three of my other patients ran away! "

Why do dentists like potatoes? Because they are so filling.

Anyone know the six most frightening words in the world??? " The Dentist will see you now. "

Papa, why is it that dentists call their offices dental parlors? " " Because they are drawing- rooms, my son. "

Nigel: You said the school dentist would be painless, but he wasn't. Teacher: Did he hurt you? Nigel: No, but he screamed when I bit his finger.

What is a drill team? A group of dentists who work together.

" Open wider. " requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. " Good God! " he said startled. " You've got the biggest cavity I've ever seen – the biggest cavity I've ever seen. " " OK Doc! " replied the patient. " I'm scared enough without you saying something like that twice. " " I didn't! " said the dentist. " That was the echo. "