Cat jokes

What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese? He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath!

What is an octopus? An eight- sided cat.

Why are cats longer in the evening than they are in the morning? Because they're let out in the evening and taking in in the morning!

A guy walks into a laundry run by cats. " Excuse me", he said to the cat in charge, " Can you get milk stains out? " " Sure, " replied the cat. " We'll have that stain licked in a minute! "

Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin? There was some money in the kitty!

Why was the cat afraid of the tree? Because of the tree bark.

What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea? A catameringue!

Why did the cat sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!

If a cat won an Oscar, what would he get? An a- cat- emy award.

Why do tomcats fight? Because they like raising a stink!

When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When your a mouse!

Q: Why couldn't the cat speak? A: The dog taped his mouth.

Why is a crazy marmalade cat like a biscuit? They are both ginger nuts!

Why do black cats never shave? Because 8 out of 10 cats prefer whiskas!

When you call a dog, they usually come to you. When you call a cat; they take a message.

What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck? A duck filled fatty puss!

What did the black cat say to the fish? I've got a bone to pick with you!

" Doctor, " said the patient, " I need help! I can't stop acting like a cat! " " How long have you had this problem? " the doctor asked. " Lest's see, " said the patient, " Mom had the litter in '41

What kind of cat should you take into the desert? A first aid kitty!

What's furry, has whiskers and chases outlaws? A posse cat!

Why do cats chase birds? For a lark!

What is a black cat's favourite TV show? Miami Mice!

What do cats read in the morning? Mewspapers!

What do you call a black cat than can spring up to a six foot wall? A good jumpurr!

On what should you mount a statue of your cat? A caterpillar!

Why are black cats such good singers? They're very mewsical.

What cat purrs more than any other? Purrsians!

Teacher: Name four members of the cat family Pupil: Daddy cat, mummy cat and two kittens!

Why did the cat put the letter " M" into the fridge? Because it turns " ice" into " mice"!

When the cat's away…..? The house smells better!

What works in a circus, walks a tightrope and has claws? An acrocat!

Why was the cat so small? Because it only ate condensed milk!

What do you call a cat wearing shoes? Puss in boots!

What is another way to describe a cat? A heat seeking missile!

What does a cat call a bowl of mice? A purrfect meal!