Witch jokes

How do witches lose weight? They join weight witches.

Witch: Why have you stopped playing cards with my sister? Wizard: Well would you play with someone who cheats all the time, is a poor loser and keeps tearing up the cards? Witch: No I wouldn't. Wizard: No, well nor will she.

How do you know when you are in bed with a witch? She has a big " W" embroidered on her pyjamas!

What has handles and flies? A witch in a garbage can.

First witch: My, hasn't your little girl grown? Second witch: Yes, she's certainly gruesome.

Why do witches have stiff joints? They get broomatism!

What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital? With any luck you'll be able to get up for a spell.

How does a witch doctor ask a girl to dance? 'Voodoo like to dance with me? '

Who went into a witche's den and came out alive? The witch!

Why did the witch wear a green felt pointed hat? So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen.

Did you hear about the witch who turned her friend into an egg? She kept trying to poach her ideas.

What did the young witch say to her mother? Can I have the keys to the broom tonight!

Why does a witch wear a pointed black hat? To keep her head warm.

What do you call a witch who climbs up walls? Ivy.

What does an Australian witch ride on? A broomerang!

What did the witch say to the ugly toad? I'd put a curse on you – but somebody beat me to it!

Old witch: Now I know you want a job with me. Do you tell lies? Young witch: No, but I can pick it up.

What do you call a witch with one leg? Eileen.

What would you get if you crossed a witch with a famous movie director? Steven Spellberg!

Did you hear about the witch who went in for the lovely legs competition? She was beaten by the microphone stand.

What do you call a witch who kills her mother and father? An orphan.

What goes cackle, cackle, squelch, squelch? A witch in soggy trainers.

Witch l: " How do you manage to stay in shape? " Witch 2: " I get a lot of hexercise. "

Did you hear about the witch who fed her pet vulture on sawdust? The vulture laid ten eggs and when they hatched, nine chicks had wooden legs and the tenth was a woodpecker.

What do witches use pencil sharpeners for? To keep their hats pointed.

What goes cackle, cackle, boom? A witch in a minefield.

Is it good to drink witch's brew? Yes, it's very newt tricious!

Did you hear about the TV show with FBI agents and witches? It's called The Hex- Files.

What do you call two witches who share a room? Broom- mates.

Why won't a witch wear a flat cap? Because there's no point in it.

What is a witch's favourite TV show? Lifestyles of the Witch and Famous!

Q: What kind of witch goes to the beach? A: Sandwitch

How do you get milk from a witch's cat? Steal her saucer.

What do you call a witch that stays out all night? A fresh air freak.

Where did the witch get her furniture? From the ideal gnome exhibition!