One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish. About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family. " You aren't going to catch many fish that way, " said the businessman to the fisherman, " you should be working rather than lying on the beach! " The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, " And what will my reward be? " " Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish! " was the businessman's answer. " And then what will my reward be? " asked the fisherman, still smiling. The businessman replied, " You will make money and you'll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish! " " And then what will my reward be? " asked the fisherman again. The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman's questions. " You can buy a bigger boat, and...
Two Polish hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read " BEAR LEFT" so they went home
A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bush's jumped the Game Warden!! Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden. After about a half mile the fella stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the Game Warden finally caught up to him. " Lets see yer fishin license, Boy!! " the Warden gasped. With that, the fella pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license. i3galr3pr0ducton0fa! h! a! j0k3s" Well, son", said the Game Warden, " You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks!! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license! " " Yes Sir", replied the young feller, " But my friend back there, well, he don't have one"…
There were these two guys out hiking when they came upon an old, abandoned mine shaft. Curious about its depth they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the bottom, but they heard nothing. They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited. Still nothing. They searched the area for something larger and came upon a railroad tie. With great difficulty, the two men carried it to the opening and threw it in. While waiting for it to hit bottom, a goat suddenly darted between them and leapt into the hole! The guys were still standing there with astonished looks upon their faces from the actions of the goat when a man walked up to them. He asked them if they had seen a goat anywhere in the area and they said that one had just jumped into the mine shaft in front of them! The man replied, " Oh no. That couldn't be my goat, mine was tied to a railroad tie. "
Two friends rented a boat and fished in a lake every day. One day they caught 30 fish. One guy said to his friend, " Mark this spot so that we can come back here again tomorrow. " The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat, the same guy asked his friend, " Did you mark that spot? " His friend replied, " Yeah, I put a big 'X'on the bottom of the boat. " The first one said, " You stupid fool! What if we don't get that same boat today!?!? "
Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment – the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune! The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, " Do you realise that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks? " The other guy says, " Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more! "
Ten common fishing terms explainedCatch and Release – A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer pulls over a boat that has caught over it's limit. Hook – (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his live savings on a new rod and reel. (3) The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings (see also, Right Hook, Left Hook). Line – Something you give your co- workers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend. Lure – An object that is semi- enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop. Reel – A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard. Rod – An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish. School – A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your $ 29. 99 lures and hold out for spam instead. Tackle – What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard. Tackle Box – A box shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a...
When Fishermen Meet" Hiyamac" " Lobuddy" " Binearlong? " " Coplours" " Cetchenny? " " Goddafew" " Kindarthay? " " Bassencarp" " Ennysizetoom? " " Couplapowns" " Hittinhard? " " Sordalike" " Wachoosen? " " Gobbawurms" " Fishanonaboddum? " " Rydononaboddum" " Whatchadrinkin? " " Jugajimbeam" " Igoddago" " Tubad" " Seeyaroun" " Yeahtakideezy" " Guluck"
Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, " Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you? " " Why do you want me to throw them at you? " " Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them. " " Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy. " " But why? " " Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange roughy. She prefers that for supper tonight.