Weather jokes

Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident, and called from the hospital about the four casts.

Q. What did one tornado say to the other? A. " Let's twist again, like we did last summer…. "

Q. What's the difference between 'weather'and 'climate'? A. You can 't 'weather'a tree, but you can 'climate'!

Q: What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer? A: You make my temperature rise.

Q: What did the hurricane say to the other hurricane? A: I have my eye on you.

Q: What's the difference between a horse and the weather? A: One is reined up and the other rains down.

Jill: How did you find the weather on your vacation? Bill: I just went outside and there it was!

It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.

What is hail? Hard boiled rain!

Q: What did the tornado say to the car? A: ('You wanna go for a spin? ')

What are the hottest days during summer? Sun- days

Q. What did the fog say to the light rain after her vacation? A. I mist you.

There is a Shreveport cable TV channel that broadcasts the (live) video of the Shreveport radar and the audio of the NOAA weather radio station. When explaining why he knew he should go into meteorology, he said that when he was young, he would sometimes watch the channel even when there were no echoes, just for fun.

Who is it that everybody listens to but nobody believes? The weatherman.

It was so hot today I saw a robin picking earthworms out of the ground with a pair of tongs.

What is the opposite of a cold front? – A warm back

What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? – Hang onto your leaves, this will be no ordinary breeze

What type of wind is named after Santa Claus's warm climate cousin? Santa Ana

Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? Because then the children have to play inside.

I really don't understand why the federal government was so slow to send aid to the areas hit by Hurricane Andrew. After all, both Florida and Louisiana have oil.

What do hurricanes most like to eat for dessert? – Candy Canes

What did the lightning bolt say to the old oak tree? – Hang onto your bark, this will be no ordinary spark

What type of wind is named after a young deer? Foehn

Why do hurricanes travel so fast? Because if they travelled slowly, we'd have to call them slow- i- canes.

The U. S. has only three hurricane warning centers – Coral Gables, FL, Guam, and Honolulu, HI (recently completed). All three have faced Category 4 hurricanes in the past month. Which only goes to show: If you build it, they will come!

What did the primary rainbow say to the secondary rainbow? – Your pants are on backwards

What did the hail storm say to the roof? – Hang onto your shingles, this will be no ordinary sprinkles

How does a male lightning bolt feel when he notices an attractive female lightning bolt? Thunderstruck

What is a tornado? Mother nature doing the twist!

Where do wind gusts go to on dates? – To Chicago

How did the rainbow know is was lost? – It was a clear day

How do hurricanes see? – With one eye

Why is the sky not happy on clear days? It has the blues

Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather report on the radio. " There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared, " the weather report said. " You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets. " Ole said, " Jeez, okay, " and got up from his coffee. The next day they were sitting down with their morning cups of coffee. The weather forecast was, " There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets. " Again Ole replied, " Jeez, okay, " and got up from his coffee. Two days later, again they're sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast said, " There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the…" and the power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. He turned to Lena, " Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena? " Lena replied, " Aw, Ole, just leave the car in the damned garage today. "

What do clouds want to be when they grow up? – Thunderstorms