Bed jokes

I woke up, went for a…

I woke up, went for a walk, my head fell off and rolled away. I picked it up and put it on. A child walked up to me and said: " Good grief, where are your feet? " I must have left them in bed!

Three boys were sharing the same…

Three boys were sharing the same bed on holiday, but it was so crowded that one of them decided to sleep on the floor. After a while, one of his friends told him he might as well get in to bed again. There's lots of room now, 'he said.

I'd love you to stay the…

I'd love you to stay the night, but I'm afraid you'll have to make your own bed. Oh, that's all right, I don't mind at all. Right. Here's a hammer, a saw, and some nails. The wood's in the garage. I have four legs, but only one foot. What am I? A bed

A neighbour bumped into Jenny playing…

A neighbour bumped into Jenny playing outside her house after dark. 'Hello, Jenny, 'said the neighbour. 'Isn't it time for little girls to be in bed? ''How would I know? 'asked Jenny. 'I haven't got any little girls. '

A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. " What'…

A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. " What's wrong? " asked his mother. " Do people really come from dust, like they said in church? " he sobbed. " In a way they do, " said his mother. " And when they die so they turn back to dust? " " Yes, they do. " The little boy began to cry again. " Well, under my bed there's someone either coming or going. "

Two friends who lived in the…

Two friends who lived in the town were chatting. " I've just bought a pig, " said the first. " But where will you keep it? " said the second. " Your yard's much too small for a pig! " " I'm going to keep it under my bed, " replied his friend. " But what about the smell? " " He'll soon get used to that. "