Will you come to my party on Saturday? Yes, please, What's the address? 25 The High Street. Just push the bell with your elbow. Why with my elbow? Well, you won't be empty- handed, will you!
How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday? He has a whale of a party!
" I'm giving a 'surprised'birthday party for you. " " A 'surprised'. birthday party? What's that? " " That's where I invite a bunch of your friends, and if any of them come, I'll be surprised! "
What do you always get on your birthday? Another year older! birt
I've been shopping for my wife's birthday present. What did you get her? A bottle of expensive toilet water. It cost 20. 20! Why didn't you come to my house – you could have had some of ours for free!
Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer? Because you said it was pound cake!
Did you hear about the dancer's birthday? It was a tappy one!
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
Dad bought Mum a bone- china tea set for her birthday. How lovely! Yes, but he only did it so as not to have to do the washing- up. Mum's too frightened he'll break it!
What did one candle say to the other? " Don't birthdays burn you up? "
How can you tell if an elephant's been to your birthday party? Look for his footprints in the ice cream.
Why did you buy me a pair of bunny ears? I wanted you to have a hoppy birthday!
Good news! I've been given a goldfish for my birthday… the bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!
What's the greatest birthday present? Hard to say – but a drum takes a lot of beating.
Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards? The stamps kept falling off the rocks!
Why did the fat monster put a candle on his tummy? He was celebrating his girthday!
Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday? He's trying to age disgracefully!
The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. " Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am, " he said politely, " but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread. " " That's right. " " Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake. " " Well, today is his birthday. "
What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday? A stole.
Why did Davy Crockett always wear a coonskin cap? It was a birthday present from his wife!
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
Why was the monster standing on his head at the birthday party? He heard they were having upside- down cake!
Fred: Have you noticed that your mother smells a bit funny these days? Harry: No. Why? Fred: Well, your sister told me she was giving her a bottle of toilet water for her birthday.
Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday. Betty: That was a kind thought. But why didn't you? Fred: I couldn't find one big enough for your nose.
Where do you find a birthday present for a cat? In a cat- alogue!
What is an elf's favourite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
What does a clam do on his birthday? He shellabrates!
Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday. Harry: That was a kind thought. But why didn't you? Fred: I couldn't find one big enough for your nose.
Fred: Do you like the dictionary I bought you for your birthday? Harry: Sure. It's a great present but I just can't find the words to thank you enough.
" I guess I didn't get my birthday wish. " " How do you know? " " You're still here! "
What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow? A birthday pheasant!
Charley wanted to buy Farley a birthday cake, but he couldn't figure out how to get the cake in the typewriter so he could type 'Happy Birthday'
I'd like to say something nice about you as it's your birthday. Why don't you? Because I can't think of a single thing to say!
A man who forgets his wife's birthday is certain to get something to remember her by.
Why did the boy put candles on the toilet? He wanted to have a birthday potty!