Waiter jokes

Customer: There's something wrong with my hot dogs. Waiter: Sorry, I'm a waiter, not a veterinarian.

Diner: Waiter, please close the window. Waiter: Why, is there a draft? Diner: Yes, it's blown my steak off the plate three times.

" Waiter! Have you got frogs'legs? " " No, sir, I always walk this way"

Waiter, I can't eat this meat, it's crawling with maggots! Quick, run to the other end of the table and grab it as it goes by!

Customer: This fish isn't as good as what I ordered here last month. Waiter: That's funny. It's from the same fish.

Diner: Waitress, the portions are getting smaller. Waiter: It's just an optical illusion. It's just that the restaurant has been enlarged.

Waiter, Waiter there's a fly in my ice- cream! Gee I did not know that they had started winter sports so early in the year!

Waiter, what is this cockroach doing on my ice cream sundae? Skiing sir!

Customer: Waiter, I can't eat this meal. Waiter: Why not? It looks all right to me. Customer: I don't have a fork.

Diner: What's wrong with these eggs I ordered? Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

Waiter, is there soup on the menu? No, madam I wiped it off!

Waiter, there is a fly in my bean soup! Don't worry sir I'll fish him out and exchange it for a bean!

Customer: Waiter, I found a hair in my turtle soup. Waiter: How about that! The turtle and the hare finally got together.

Diner: Why are the waiters in here so nasty? Waiter: Look at who they have to serve.

Waiter, there's a fly in my custard! I'll fetch him a spoon sir!

Waiter, what is this creepy- crawly doing in my salad? Not him again, he's in here every night!

Customer: Waiter, look at this chicken! It's nothing but skin and bones. Waiter: Would you like the feathers, too?

Patron: Didn't you tell me the chef here cooked for the late heads of Europe? Waiter: Yes, and that's why they are the late heads of Europe.

Waiter, there is a cockroach on my steak! They don't seem to care what they eat do they sir!

Waiter, what's this bug doing waltzing around my table! It's the band, sir, they are playing his tune!

Customer: Waiter, there's a button in my salad. Waiter: It must have come off while the salad was dressing.

Patron: Hey, there's a fly in my soup! Waiter: Why are you complaining? Isn't it cooked?

Waiter, there is a maggot in my soup! Don't worry sir, he won't last long in there!

Waiter, there is a dead fly in my soup! No its not, it's a piece of dirt that looks like one!

Customer: Waiter, this food is repeating on me. Waiter: Good, we love repeat business.

Patron: How come this fly is swimming in my soup? Waiter: I gave you too much. It should be wading.

Waiter, there is a spider drowning in my soup! It hardly looks deep enough to drown in sir!

Waiter, there is a frog in my soup! Don't worry sir there isn't enough there to drown him!

Customer: What is this fly doing in my alphabet soup? Waiter: Probably learning to read.

Patron: This bread is stale. Waiter: It wasn't last week.

Waiter, there is a worm on my plate! That's not a worm sir, it's your sausage?

Waiter, can you get rid of this fly in my starter! I can't do that sir, he's not had his main course yet!

" Waiter, waiter, there's a hand in my soup. " " That's not your soup, sir, that's your finger bowl. "

Customer: Why does your sign say " Fine Dining"? Waiter: We can dream, can't we?

Patron: Waiter, why is there a spider in my glass? Waiter: It scares away the flies.