Customer: Waiter, look at this chicken! It's nothing but skin and bones. Waiter: Would you like the feathers, too?
Patron: Didn't you tell me the chef here cooked for the late heads of Europe? Waiter: Yes, and that's why they are the late heads of Europe.
Waiter, there is a cockroach on my steak! They don't seem to care what they eat do they sir!
Waiter, what's this bug doing waltzing around my table! It's the band, sir, they are playing his tune!
Customer: Waiter, there's a button in my salad. Waiter: It must have come off while the salad was dressing.
Patron: Hey, there's a fly in my soup! Waiter: Why are you complaining? Isn't it cooked?
Waiter, there is a maggot in my soup! Don't worry sir, he won't last long in there!
Waiter, there is a dead fly in my soup! No its not, it's a piece of dirt that looks like one!
Customer: Waiter, this food is repeating on me. Waiter: Good, we love repeat business.
Patron: How come this fly is swimming in my soup? Waiter: I gave you too much. It should be wading.
Waiter, there is a spider drowning in my soup! It hardly looks deep enough to drown in sir!
Waiter, there is a frog in my soup! Don't worry sir there isn't enough there to drown him!
Customer: What is this fly doing in my alphabet soup? Waiter: Probably learning to read.
Patron: This bread is stale. Waiter: It wasn't last week.
Waiter, there is a worm on my plate! That's not a worm sir, it's your sausage?
Waiter, can you get rid of this fly in my starter! I can't do that sir, he's not had his main course yet!
" Waiter, waiter, there's a hand in my soup. " " That's not your soup, sir, that's your finger bowl. "
Customer: Why does your sign say " Fine Dining"? Waiter: We can dream, can't we?
Patron: Waiter, why is there a spider in my glass? Waiter: It scares away the flies.
Waiter, there is a fly in my wine! Well you did ask for something with a little body in it!
Sir you haven't touched your custard. I'm just waiting for the fly to stop using it as a trampoline!
Waiter, waiter! There's a wasp in my dessert. So that's where they go to in the winter.
Customer: Why doesn't this restaurant have any specials? Waiter: Because nothing about this food is special.
Waiter (serving soup): It looks like rain today. Patron: Yes it does, but it smells like soup.
Waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Yes sir, thats the manager, the last customer was a witch doctor!
" Waiter! " shouted the furious diner, " How dare you serve me this! There's a damn TWIG in my soup! " " My apologies, " said the waiter. " I'll inform the branch manager. "
Customer: Do you have bacon and eggs on the menu: Waiter: No, we clean our menus regularly.
Customer: Why doesn't your menu list prices? Waiter: We didn't want to make you sick before the food does.
Waiter: If you know the food here is so lousy, why do you keep coming back? Customer: It reminds me of my ex- wife's cooking.
Waiter, my lunch is talking to me! Well you did ask for a tongue sandwich!
CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig cooler? WAITER: Sure, spray him with a hose.
Customer: How come the Board of Health hasn't come in and closed you up? Waiter: They're afraid to eat here.
Customer: Why don't you eat here, waiter? Waiter: Serving it is bad enough, I don't want to compound the felony.
Waiter: I'm sorry I spilled a glass of water on you. Diner: That's all right. My suit is too large anyway.
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Yes, it's the rotting meat that attracts them!