Ghost jokes

Which ghost ate too much porridge? Ghouldilocks.

Why are haunted houses so noisy in April? That's when the ghosts do their spring screaming!

What's a ghosts favorite ride at the carnival? The roller ghosted.

Did you hear about the sick ghost? He had oooooo- ping cough.

Student l: " Did you know that ghosts are protected by the Constitution? " Student 2: " They are? " Student 1: " Sure. It's in the Bill of Frights! "

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? Hoblin Goblin.

How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat? You use a spirit level.

What do you call a ghost at midnight? A sheet in the dark!

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.

What did the mother ghost say to the naughty baby ghost? Spook when you're spooken to.

What did the little ghost eat for lunch? A booloney sandwich!

Where does a ghost refuel his Porsche? At a ghastly station.

What is a ghost's favorite Wild West town? Tombstone.

How did the bootician style the ghost's hair? With a scare dryer!

What do ghosts like about riding horses? Ghoulloping.

When do ghosts play tricks on each other? On April Ghoul's Day

Why is a ghost like an empty house? Because there's no body there!

When do ghosts usually appear? Just before someone screams.

Why don't ghosts make good magicians. You can see right through their tricks.

What Central American country has the most spooks? Ghosta Rica!

What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet? A holy terror.

What do you get is you cross a ghost with a packet of potato chips? Snacks that go crunch in the night.

What sort of violin does a ghost play? A dreadivarius.

Did you hear about the ghost who went on safari? He was a big- game haunter!

What did the little ghost give his mom for Mother's Day? A booquet of flowers.

What do you call a ghost who only haunts the Town Hall? The nightmayor.

Which day of the week do ghosts like best? Moandays.

What European capital has the most ghosts? Boodapest!

Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centers

Woman in bed: Aaagh! Aaagh! A ghost just floated into my room! Ghost: Don't worry, ma'am, I'm just passing through.

Why were the ghosts wet and tired? They had just dread- ged the lake.

What is the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car? They fasten their sheet (seat) belts.

What's the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car? – They boo- kle their seatbelts

What did one ghost say to another? I'm sorry, but I just don't believe in people.

One night, after closing time a barman is sitting at his bar minding his own buisiness, when a spectral hound floats in through the door. The barman, being an exceptionally cool kind of guy, asks " yeah, what do you want? ". The phantom hound explains, in a haunting voice " I've lost my tail…… and cannot rest until a kindly barman stitches it back- on". At this request the barman stands back astonished and says to the phantom dog….. " Sorry, but we don't re- tail spirits at this time of night".