What do you call a ghost who only haunts the Town Hall? The nightmayor.
Which day of the week do ghosts like best? Moandays.
What European capital has the most ghosts? Boodapest!
Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centers
Woman in bed: Aaagh! Aaagh! A ghost just floated into my room! Ghost: Don't worry, ma'am, I'm just passing through.
Why were the ghosts wet and tired? They had just dread- ged the lake.
What is the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car? They fasten their sheet (seat) belts.
What's the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car? – They boo- kle their seatbelts
What did one ghost say to another? I'm sorry, but I just don't believe in people.
One night, after closing time a barman is sitting at his bar minding his own buisiness, when a spectral hound floats in through the door. The barman, being an exceptionally cool kind of guy, asks " yeah, what do you want? ". The phantom hound explains, in a haunting voice " I've lost my tail…… and cannot rest until a kindly barman stitches it back- on". At this request the barman stands back astonished and says to the phantom dog….. " Sorry, but we don't re- tail spirits at this time of night".
What did the mother ghost tell the kid ghost when he went out to play? " Don't get your sheets dirty! "
What do you call a ghost who's always sleeping? Lazy bones.
Q: How do ghosts fly from one place to another? A: By scareplane.
How can you tell if a ghost is about to faint? He gets pale as a sheet.
Who said " Shiver me timbers! " on the ghost ship? The skeleton crew.
Q: What directions did the ghost give the goblin? A: " Make a fright turn at the corner. "
Why was the ghost of Anne Boleyn always running after the ghost of Henry VIII? She was trying to get ahead!
What do young ghosts write their homework in? Exorcise books.
What do ghosts say when a girl footballer is sent off? Ban- she, ban- she!
What kind of street does a ghost like best? A dead end.
A butler came running into his important master's office. " Sir, sir, there's a ghost in the corridor. What shall I do with him? " Without looking up from his work the master said, " Tell him I can't see him. "
This girl wanted to marry a ghost. I can't think what possessed her.
Knock Knock Who's there! Boo! Boo who? Just Boo! I'm a ghost!
Ghost: Are you coming to my party? Spook: Where is it? Ghost: In the morgue – you know what they say, the morgue the merrier.
Where would you take a ghost for lunch? Pizza Haunt!
What do ghosts watch if they want to relax? Skelly- vision!
Which ghost ate too much porridge? Ghouldilocks.
Why are haunted houses so noisy in April? That's when the ghosts do their spring screaming!
What's a ghosts favorite ride at the carnival? The roller ghosted.
Did you hear about the sick ghost? He had oooooo- ping cough.
Student l: " Did you know that ghosts are protected by the Constitution? " Student 2: " They are? " Student 1: " Sure. It's in the Bill of Frights! "
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? Hoblin Goblin.
How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat? You use a spirit level.
What do you call a ghost at midnight? A sheet in the dark!
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.