Teacher: What are the four elements? Pupil: Fire, Earth, Water and the Internet. Teacher: What do you mean the Internet? Pupil: Well, Mum says that whenever I'm on the Net, I'm in my element.
What did you say to the policeman who spent eight hours on the Internet? Oh give it arrest.
What did you think of our website? A little bit tacky.
Who sits at the end of the yellow brick road surfing the Net? The www. izard of Oz.
Have you seen www. hook. com? Yes, it's already caught my eye.
Have you seen www. dustbin. com? Yes, but it's a load of rubbish.
What goes round the middle of the Internet? The e- quator.
What do you call someone who spends 24 hours a day on the Internet? Anything you like, they're not listening to you anyway.
What do you get if you cross a giant ship with the Internet? The Site- anic.
What do builders use to make websites? Com. crete.
Who surfs the Net by pecking at the keyboard? www. oody www. oodpecker.
Have you seen www. indecisive. com? Yes and no.
Have you seen www. stickytape. com? Yes, I can't tear myself away.
What has long ears, hops and likes websurfing? The e- aster bunny.
Where does the Internet football team play? Webley.
What do you get if you cross the Internet with a currant bread? Spotted click
Where is Pinocchio's website? On the splinternet.
Why are elephants no good at Net surfing? Because they're scared of the mouse.
Have you seen www. lockeddoor. com? Yes, but I found it very difficult to get into.
Have you seen www. tame. com? Yes, but I'm not wild about it.
Which of the seven dwarfs use the Internet? Happ- e, Sleep- e, Grump- e, Dope- e and Sneez- e.
Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? Because they can't stop saving their work.
What do you put in a www. ashing machine? Net curtains!
Who has the best website in the jungle? The Onlion King.
Does your dog know how how to surf the internet? No – but he's got a ruff idea.
Have you seen www. needleinahaystack. com? Yes, but it took ages to find.
What sits in the middle of the world wide web? A very, very big spider!
Who is the most popular wizard on the Internet? Har e- potter.
Why do you think your report should be on the net? Because my marks are all 'E's.
What grows on the World Wide Web and stings? Internettles.
Who runs the 100 acre wood website? www. innie the pooh.
Why are frogs no good at websurfing? Computers have them toad- ily confused.
Have you seen www. pitchdark. com? Yes, but I really couldn't see what all the fuss is about.
PE Teacher: Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer? Pupil: You told me to put it in the Net.
Who looks after the EuroDisney website? Mick e- mouse.