History jokes

What did Caesar say to Cleopatra? Toga- ether we can rule the world!

How did Columbus's men sleep on their ships? With their eyes shut!

Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights!

What did Napoleon become when he was 41 years old? A year older on his birthday!

Why did Arthur have a round table? So no one could corner him!

Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia? Must have been a duck family A duck family? Didn't you say there was a quack in it!

Who invented King Arthur's round table? Sir Circumference!

Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons? Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train!

What was Camelot? A place where people parked their camels!

You've failed history again! Well you always told me to let bygones be bygones!

What was Camelot famous for? It's knight life!

How did you do in your tests? I did what George Washington did! What was that? Went down in history!

When were King Arthur's army too tired to fight? When they had lots of sleepless knights!

Do you know the 20th President of the United States? No, we were never introduced!

What English King invented the fireplace? Alfred the grate!

Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood, he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday. Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else!

Why did the Pilgrims create Thanksgiving? They wanted another excuse to watch football.

What famous chiropodist ruled England? William the Corn- cutter!

When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat? He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row!

What was the greatest accomplishment of the early Romans? Speaking Latin!

Whose son was Edward, the Black Prince? Old King Coal!

What did they do at the Boston Tea Party? I don't know, I wasn't invited!

Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons? He wanted Mark Antony!

Why did Henry VIII have so many wives? He liked to chop and change!

What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy's tomb indicate? The registration of the car that ran him over!

Why does history keep repeating itself? Because we weren't listening the first time!

What was the first think Queen Elizabeth did on ascending to the throne? Sat down!

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They both have 'the'as their middle names!

Who succeeded the first President of the USA? The second one!

Where was the Magna Carta signed? At the bottom!

What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet? Egyptian dummies.

If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders, who supported Atlas? His wife!

I'm learning ancient history? So am I, lets go for a walk and talk over old times!

Q: Where does Napolean keep his armies? A: In his sleevies!

When did Caesar reign? I didn't know he reigned. Of course he did, didn't they hail him?