Food Jokes

A fat girl went into a…

A fat girl went into a cafe and ordered two slices of apple pie with four scoops of ice cream cover with lashings of raspberry sauce and piles of chopped nuts. 'Would you like a cherry on the top? 'asked the waitress. 'No, thanks, 'said the girl, 'I'm on a diet! '

At a party, a conjurer was…

At a party, a conjurer was producing egg after egg from a little boy's ear. " There! " he said proudly. " I bet your Mum can't produce eggs without hens, can she? " " Oh yes, she can, " said the boy. " She keeps ducks. "

Several women were discussing what they…

Several women were discussing what they should have for dinner. " If you're watching your weight, " came one suggestion, " those diet frozen dinners are good. " The man then added: " But get two. They're small. "

Did you hear about the teacher…

Did you hear about the teacher who was trying to instil good table manners in her girls? She told them that a well brought girl never crumbles her bread or rolls in her soup.

A tourist walked into a fish…

A tourist walked into a fish and chip shop in Ireland. " I'll have fish and chips twice, " he orders. " Sure, I heard you the first time, " came the reply.