I tried to send an e- mail and broke my computer. How do you manage that? I think it was when I tried to push it through the letterbox.
I've lost my dog! Have you tried putting a message on the Internet? Don't be silly, my dog never reads e- mails!
How do sheep sign their e- mails? Ewes sincerely.
Why was the hen banned from sending e- mails? She was always using fowl language.
How do skunks like their e- mails? Scent.
What did Hamlet say when he was thinking of sending a message? To e or not to e, that is the question.
How do wasps send messages? By bee- mail.
How do whales type e- mails? With their fish fingers.
How do writers send e- mail? On the Inkernet.
How does James Bond type e- mails? With his goldfinger.
How does Robin hood send messages around Sherwood Forest? By tree mail!
I just sent my first e- mail. Kongratulations!
Teacher: You've been e- mailing other pupils that I'm ugly! Pupil: Sorry, miss, I didn't realise you wanted to keep it a secret.
What do robots put at the bottom of their e- mails? Yours tin- sincerely.
What do vampires put at the bottom of their e- mails? Best viscious.
What do werewolves put at the bottom of their e- mails? Beast wishes.
What should you do if you get lots of e- mails saying, 'What's up, Doc? What's up, Doc? 'Check for bugs in your system.
When do e- mails stop being in black and white? When they are read.
How do mountainers send messages? By ski- mail.
How do really posh dogs send messages? By predigree- mail.
Why don't vikings send e- mails? They prefer to use Norse code.
Why don't you stamp e- mails? Because your foot would go right through the computer screen!
Pupil: Sir, would you mind e- mailing my exam results to my parents? Teacher: But your parents don't have a comuter. Pupil: Exactly!
Do you send e- mails on your home computer? What's the point? I can just bring my home along with me and have a chat.
How come you never write e- mails? I'd rather send a note!
How do athletes send e- mails? On the Inter- sweat.
How do comedians send messages? By tee- hee mail.
How do dolphins send messages? By sea- mail.
How do footballers send messages? By referee- mail.
How do Indian chiefs send messages? By teepee- mail!
How do Italian Chefs swap recipes? By Spaghett- e- mail!
How do long distance runners send e- mail? On the sprin- ternet.
Why do church bells never send e- mails? They'd rather give each other a ring.
Why did the internit paint his computer screen in little black and white squares? He wanted to check his e- mail.
Why couldn't the apple send an e- mail to the orange? Because the lime was engaged.