E-mail jokes

How do whales type e- mails? With their fish fingers.

How do writers send e- mail? On the Inkernet.

How does James Bond type e- mails? With his goldfinger.

How does Robin hood send messages around Sherwood Forest? By tree mail!

I just sent my first e- mail. Kongratulations!

Teacher: You've been e- mailing other pupils that I'm ugly! Pupil: Sorry, miss, I didn't realise you wanted to keep it a secret.

What do robots put at the bottom of their e- mails? Yours tin- sincerely.

What do vampires put at the bottom of their e- mails? Best viscious.

What do werewolves put at the bottom of their e- mails? Beast wishes.

What should you do if you get lots of e- mails saying, 'What's up, Doc? What's up, Doc? 'Check for bugs in your system.

When do e- mails stop being in black and white? When they are read.

I tried to send an e- mail and broke my computer. How do you manage that? I think it was when I tried to push it through the letterbox.

I've lost my dog! Have you tried putting a message on the Internet? Don't be silly, my dog never reads e- mails!

How do sheep sign their e- mails? Ewes sincerely.

Why was the hen banned from sending e- mails? She was always using fowl language.

How do skunks like their e- mails? Scent.

What did Hamlet say when he was thinking of sending a message? To e or not to e, that is the question.

How do wasps send messages? By bee- mail.

Why don't you stamp e- mails? Because your foot would go right through the computer screen!

Pupil: Sir, would you mind e- mailing my exam results to my parents? Teacher: But your parents don't have a comuter. Pupil: Exactly!

Do you send e- mails on your home computer? What's the point? I can just bring my home along with me and have a chat.

How come you never write e- mails? I'd rather send a note!

How do athletes send e- mails? On the Inter- sweat.

How do comedians send messages? By tee- hee mail.

How do dolphins send messages? By sea- mail.

How do footballers send messages? By referee- mail.

How do Indian chiefs send messages? By teepee- mail!

How do Italian Chefs swap recipes? By Spaghett- e- mail!

How do long distance runners send e- mail? On the sprin- ternet.

How do mountainers send messages? By ski- mail.

How do really posh dogs send messages? By predigree- mail.

Why don't vikings send e- mails? They prefer to use Norse code.

Why do church bells never send e- mails? They'd rather give each other a ring.

Why did the internit paint his computer screen in little black and white squares? He wanted to check his e- mail.

Why couldn't the apple send an e- mail to the orange? Because the lime was engaged.