Face jokes

Witch: Doctor, I can' t help…

Witch: Doctor, I can't help pulling ugly faces. Doctor: Well there's nothing terrible about that. Witch: It is when the people with ugly faces don't like them being pulled.

A little boy came running into the…

A little boy came running into the kitchen. " Dad, dad, " he said, " there's a monster at the door with a really ugly face. " " Tell him you've already got one, " said his father.

A woman just back from Arizona was…

A woman just back from Arizona was telling her friends about the trip. " When my husband first saw the Grand Canyon, his face dropped a mile, " she said. " Why, was he disappointed with the view? " " No, he fell over the edge. "

Two boys were watching TV when the…

Two boys were watching TV when the fabulous face and figure of Pamela Anderson appeared on the screen. " if I ever stop hating girls, " said one to the other, " I think I'll stop hating her first. "

Once there was a church that had…

Once there was a church that had a bell that no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked the priest if he could try. So the boy went up into the tower and ran straight into the bell, face- first. The bell tolled loud and clear. The shocked priest gave him the job. But one Sunday, he ran straight toward the bell with his face and missed and fell off the tower and died. " Congregation, " the priest said before the assembled masses. " Does anybody know this boy's name? Because I don't know him, but his face rings a bell. "

Fred: Your sister uses too much make-…

Fred: Your sister uses too much make- up. Harry: Do you think so? Fred: Yes. It's so thick that if you tell her a joke, five minutes after she's stopped laughing her face is still smiling!

Louise was watching her big sister covering…

Louise was watching her big sister covering her face with cream. " What's that for? " she asked. " To make me beautiful, " came the reply. Louise then watched in silence as she wiped her face clean. " Doesn't work, does it? " was her comment.