Hair and bald jokes

A guy walks in to the…

A guy walks in to the Barbershop. Barber says, " What will it be today? " Guy says, " well I want it going with my waves on top, faded on one side, plug the other, and just make it all out of shape and messed up. " Barber says, " Now why in the world do you want your hair cut like that. " Guy says, " That's how you cut it last time"

Janet came home from school and…

Janet came home from school and asked her mother if the aerosol spray in the kitchen was hair lacquer. " No, " said Mom. " It's glue. " " I thought so, " said Janet. " I wondered why I couldn't get my hat off today. "

Doctor, doctor, can you give me…

Doctor, doctor, can you give me something for my baldness? How about a few pounds of pig manure? Will that cure my baldness? No, but with that on your head no one will come near enough to notice you're bald.

Peg-Leg Baldy A bald man with…

Peg- Leg Baldy A bald man with a peg leg gets invited to a costume party. Being shy and self- conscious about his appearance, he goes to the best costume shop in town. When he gets there, he tells the shop owner his situation and that he would rather cover his head and leg with a costume instead instead of exploiting his apparent problems. So, the shop owner comes back with a lifeguard costume. The man says, " No, no. That will show off my peg leg. I can't hide it with that. Try again. " So the shop owner leaves and comes back with a monk costume And again the man says, " No, no. I can't wear that. It will make people notice my head. " Obviously pissed off, the shop owner leaves and comes back with a five- pound bag of caramels, gives it to the man and says, " Here. Just take this. " Confused, the man says, " What am I suposed to do with a bag of caramels? " Smiling, the shop owner says, " Take home this bag of caramels, melt them, pour it all over your body, stick that peg leg up your ass and tell everyone you're a caramel apple. "

The Sunday School teacher asked if…

The Sunday School teacher asked if any of the children's parents had quoted from the Bible in the past week. Little Timmy paused, but then spoke up, " My daddy doesn't have any hair on his head. Daddy says that God put hair on everything that he was ashamed of. "

A man sitting in a barber's…

A man sitting in a barber's chair noticed that the barber's hands were very dirty. When he commented on this, the barber explained, " Yes, sir, no one's been in for a shampoo yet. "

a guy was teased everywhere of…

a guy was teased everywhere of his totally noticably bald head! Afta goin thru yrs of this, he decided that he should say sumthin about it! so he stood up on2 the tallest statue and shouted 4 everyone 2 hear: 'I AM NOT BALD, ITS JUST THAT IM TALLER THAN MY HAIR! '