Money jokes

Why was the skunk arrested for counterfeiting? Because he gave out bad scents (cents).

Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy? No! Tell me about it. It smells of $ 50 dollar bills.

One evening, a Counselor saw Max on his hands and knees. 'What are you doing? 'she asked. 'I'm looking for my dollar bill, 'Max replied. 'I lost it down the road. ''Why don't you look for it there? ''Because the light's better here! '

When does a female deer need money? When she doesn't have a buck.

If George Washington were alive today, why couldn't he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac? Because a dollar doesn't go as far as it used to.

Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire? Sure. Here you are. Thanks – but half the pages are missing. What's the matter? Isn't half a million enough for you?

A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said " Why did you put up such a fight? " To which the man promptly replied " I was afraid that you would find the $ 200 hidden in my shoe! "

A little boy wanted $ 100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $ 100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $ 5. 00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $ 5. 00, and sat down to write a thank- you note to the Lord. It said: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $ 95.

A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, " If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all! " The wife replied, " My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would there be any " we" in the first place. "

What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire? A very witch person.